What was this?

So the day of the big home visit dawned upon us with an almighty storm and torrential rain. I woke up at around 2am and I just could not get back to sleep so at 3:12 I got up, took my cat and went to rescue the dogs. Soaking wet the three of us settled in front of the heater and I started making the cot`s mobile that had  been bugging me for a while now.

So wide-eyed I awaited the arrival of the social worker. The house looked like a guest house, I am a  hotel manager after all:) What an anti-climax!!!! She did not even look at my house nor did she go to the loo. She did not even comment on anything around the house. It was just an interview at our house which we are paying a boatload full for!

She was terribly nice and very warm and friendly but we had to answer all those questions that we have answered to death by now all over again. How is our health, finances, why don`t we want a black baby, would we consider a baby with HIV, how will the dogs react to the baby, how will we better her life, how will our friends and family accept another race into the family bla bla bla. Whe had to justify every single decision, of the last four months, all over again. It was exhausting to say the least. It felt like they are trying to catch us out should we not consistently answer the questions with the same answers.

Three hours later she obviously felt that we gave her enough to work with and I just collapsed. I did not want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to sleep. My phone was a war zone of texts, BBM`s and missed calls from all of our friends that knew how much rested on today but I could not get myself to speak to anyone. I had no words left. I felt so bad, they all mean the world to me and without their support we will never make it. I did however get round to everyone and I got some much appreciated sleep.

I tell you, it is much easier getting these little ones naturally!!!
But for us that was chosen, by the Lord, to walk this road, also knows that He gives us the strength to bear this. Some days I don`t know where this uncharacteristic patience comes from but every now and again an angel whispers into my ear that the Lord is processing our order for His most special angel and that we need to rest assured that she is in production, to His highest standards, and that He is colliding many lives to make sure that she gets delivered unharmed and at the right moment.

I thank my husband for his unbelievable strength and support. He has been my anchor in this stormy sea of emotions and many hopeless days. Babe, without your love and support I could never have done this and I would have been in Valkenberg a long time ago. Thank you for being the absolute love of my life, my conscience, my reasoning and my sound board. I love you more that live itself!