When I am upset and confused my world comes to a standstill and I think of nothing else. When a little heart is turned upside down and gets confused, how do they deal with it when there is not a mommy around to hug and make it all better?
This weekend I had two, tiny little hearts that was upset and confused. None of whom could express their feelings in words. Janke was upset by the presence of a little boy that she did not know and that took a lot of mommy`s time. Time that is usually devoted only to her. I had a little boy on a big adventure that did not understand why he suddenly spend so much time with strangers. A little boy that longed for his home in the orphanage, the only place he knows as home and truly feels safe. I am upset with a social worker that should have known better......
My heart is broken because I had such high hopes and they came tumbling down on me. I am upset that my child is upset and I am upset that my household did not cope with another child. I thought we were ready......
Anyway, I pray that I did not break his heart and that he would come to visit again if I promise that this time we will take baby steps.I still have so many dreams but I received a healthy wake up call. Next time will be better, I promise.....
1 comment:
Dear Aneli
I read your post with tears in my eyes... for a long time I have been wondering about kids that are uprooted in a split second, and stripped of all they know and love, to be put in a safe place, and then another safe place, and then with foster parents maybe, being moved from there again etc etc etc, and all for things that are not their fault. It makes one angry and sad at the same time, and I so wish there was an easier way to get these kids in a permanent new once and for all, so that they can adapt and start growing.... I feel your heart! *hugs*
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